Random Reader Rant and/or Revel
23 March 2009 12:00 PM | By Prince Of Petworth in Open ThreadYou can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. I’ll open this thread every Monday and Friday. So anything good happen to you this weekend?
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23 March 2009 12:08 PM | Nestum23 Said:
scut·tle·butt (sktl-bt)
n.
1. Slang Gossip; rumor.
2. Nautical
a. A drinking fountain on a ship.
b. A cask on a ship used to hold the day’s supply of drinking water.
Is this word very common?
23 March 2009 12:23 PM | WDC Said:
Hey, are we going to get the Pimp My Roommate feature back? I don’t have a roommate to pimp, nor am I in the market, but I liked reading the entries.
23 March 2009 12:26 PM | Flipflopirate Said:
Rant: Sleep, Eat, Work, Die Inside
Revel: Sleep, Eat, Work, Die Inside, Spend 2 1/2 Days Satisfied
23 March 2009 12:28 PM | Lamont&19th Said:
Any thoughts on Axis Bar & Grill on U st? I’ve been there a few times the last month and somehow I’m really into the place despite it’s weird identity crisis. Guess it’s changed hands a couple times in it’s short couple years of existence.
In it’s current iteration they seem to have super nice bartenders, one very knowledgable and efficient though sometimes curtly efficient waitress during the later hours, a great beer list (in my book), and a pretty good happy hour deal on that great beer list. And it’s always pretty easy to get a seat(s) there. It’s on overall nice place too.
23 March 2009 12:42 PM | AJL Said:
Rant: Just received a jury duty summons for federal grand jury duty. If I’m selected, that means 2 days a week for up to 18 months! Not great for my career!
Rave: March Madness!
23 March 2009 12:49 PM | trashy streets Said:
Rant: Don’t know who to blame, the neighborhood residents, the folks driving through the neighborhood, or the District government, but the streets in Petworth are lined with trash/litter. Perhaps it’s time for a neighborhood association-funded initiative to pick up the litter, or a call to the Mayor’s hotline to get it all picked up. It certainly gives the neighborhood a nice trashy look.
23 March 2009 12:51 PM | Oregonian Said:
Rave: daffodils are up! spring is officially here.
Rave 2: I’d forgotten just how cool The Saloon at 12th and U can be…
23 March 2009 12:58 PM | not telling Said:
@AJL–yeah I know someone who is stuck on a grand jury. She got fired for it. She could sue, but that would cost money, and she doesn’t have any because she doesn’t have a job. I presume her former employer realized this. And of course any potential employer is just THRILLED that she can only work part time.
23 March 2009 1:00 PM | clearbluewater33 Said:
Rave: Got into grad school number 2!
Rant: now i have to make a decision.
Rant: got a terrible haircut at hair cuttery a month or so ago (i know i know you get what you pay for) that grew out even worse. there was a 4 inch difference between the second to last layer and the last layer and it was looking awfully mulletly
Rave: I got it fixed by a friend of a friend of a friend that works at Red Door Spa. It looks awesome and it was free!
23 March 2009 1:02 PM | Anon Said:
What on earth happened at 14th and Newton on Saturday afternoon? 14th street was shut down for a few hours, and traffic was a mess. I’ve tried to find out, but see no reports anywhere of what caused the street to be closed for so long. I’m afraid something happened in retaliation to that stabbing of the teenager a few months ago (which I’m still raw to because I witnessed the immediate aftermath)…I do hope that wasn’t the case.
23 March 2009 1:11 PM | InDistress Said:
RANT: Need Help: In a long distance relationship with the love of my life (she’s in graduate school). Three weeks ago, she called me in tears saying she wanted to go on a break because she couldn’t focus on me and school at the same time. I reluctantly agreed, despite the sadness.
Yesterday, she calls me, again in tears. This time, it is “I’ll never be able to live a life that you’re not a part of” and “I don’t want to be with anyone else, ever.”
The problem: During those three weeks, she slept with someone in her class who seems to be in love with her, and expressed reluctance at telling him to take a hike (which I asked her to do). What’s more, I offered to visit her in NYC during her break (this week), which she wasn’t too keen on (“I want to be able to spend all my time with you, and I wont be able to because I’m staying with a friend.”)
We lived together for two years before this went down, and had plans to get married after graduate school. Now, I don’t know what to do. I feel weak and sick. I want everything to be like it used to, and she seems to as well, but I don’t think I can take her back after what she did. I feel like an idiot for posting a personal problem on a blog, but I am getting so desperate, losing sleep, etc.
23 March 2009 1:24 PM | Anonymous Said:
inDistress: Been there, similar situation, move on. You’ll thank yourself for it. I spent 4 mo in that limbo before waking up.
23 March 2009 1:27 PM | been there... Said:
to indistress:
It sounds like she asked to take the break with you as an excuse to get her kicks with the dude from her class and not feel (as) guilty about it, like she knew it was going to happen.
Its tough because you obviously love her, but remember there are people out there who won’t ever want/need to find a way to cheat on you.
23 March 2009 1:27 PM | JnDC Said:
@InDistress.
Wow, that is rough. I’ve dealt with the same shit, its utterly awful. Mine took place shortly after the tragic death of my younger sister as well. Kicking you when your down. Pretty hard for me to take her back now, which she wants. She upped the ante though by taking the guy back home to meet the parents etc. but claims she was merely “rushing to fill the gap left by me”… and really wanted me the whole time. Trouble is I was trying to get her back the entire time she was dating this person, so its not like she didn’t have the chance to stop and take stock of her feelings..
Why do I still see her…?
23 March 2009 1:30 PM | not telling Said:
There was something going on on Newton street–an ambulance was pulling out from behind the dance institute. Not sure if the issue was at the dance institute or they were merely using their driveway.
I was walking past as the ambulance was pulling away and one of the always-drunk-and-passed-out fellows on the corner of the senior living building @ 14suddenly started spewing blood from his nose mouth and ears. So then another ambulance had to come.
There may have been more going on as well, but that is what I saw @ around 4:30.
23 March 2009 1:35 PM | Anonymous Said:
In Distress: My guess is that she had her eye on this guy before telling you she wanted a break, maybe having a “grass is greener” idea about someone new and who wasn’t long-distance, but then once she slept with him, realized she missed and wanted to be with you. While I doubt she set out deliberately to hurt you, that kind of confusion over her feelings and seeming inability to take into consideration how her actions would affect you doesn’t contribute to a good foundation for a long-term relationship, IMO. Breaking up is difficult and horrible, but you can do better.
23 March 2009 1:42 PM | Anonymous Said:
Well on 14th and Park Road right across from the Ruby Tuesdays on Saturday around that time, a man in a wheelchair was hit by a police car…He just got off the curb to start crossing 14th st. when a parked police car apparently got a call and backed up right into the guy. The car was parked right on the corner.
23 March 2009 1:42 PM | not telling Said:
@InDistress–that’s rough. won’t get better by getting back together with her though. You need some mary jane to help you with the edginess and lack of sleep. Trust me.
23 March 2009 1:43 PM | The Loki Man Said:
Rave: Wormhole travel might be a possibility! So long solar system!
Rant: Opening wormholes could allow alternate dimensions to spill into ours ala Stephen King’s The Mist. Crap.
23 March 2009 1:59 PM | Jimmy D Said:
InDistress: My brother is going through a similar situation (though he is married, with child, and there was no “break” to speak of when her indiscretions began).
Here is what helped him make a decision about whether to take her back or move on:
Is the relationship as it truly was before this all happened (not as romanticized due to long distance and time and only looking back at the “good ol days,” but the lows too) worth the pain of forgiveness? Think long and hard about what you are fighting to get back before you make a decision. When someone does something like this to you, at a bare minimum it earns you the right to take some time to decide what is best for you. If this person offers you everything you could want in a woman (or as close to it as possible), than you have to find a way to forgive. If she doesn’t, take this opportunity to go find the one that does.
Rant: I am my brother’s de facto divorce lawyer now. He realized they hadn’t been in love for a while by the time this happened.
23 March 2009 2:17 PM | Naomi Said:
Rant: My neighbors are loud today – lots of yelling and music.
Rave: I actually like the song they were currently playing
Rant: I agree with trasy streets, why is there no street cleaning in petworth? Other neighborhoods have weekly street cleanings.
23 March 2009 2:36 PM | Derek Said:
InDistress: It’s time to start moving on; the quicker you start, the quicker you finish. Ending something like this will no doubt be massively unpleasant, but here’s when the long distance works to your benefit: You are unlikely to run into her unexpectedly, which can be extremely painful. My advice is to 1) pick up a new hobby – it can be anything – just to keep busy with something and 2) cut her off, no talking, no facebook, etc. This may seem harsh, but once you decide it’s over, it’s time to start putting together a new life.
23 March 2009 2:58 PM | Anonymous Said:
InDistress – like a lot of guys on here, I’ve been there, man. It’s a terrible situation and there’s no going back to how it was before. Serious dating is a preview of a marriage – if she couldn’t handle distance before, she certainly wouldn’t handle it well after you got married.
I agree 100% with Derek – DEFINITELY cut her off. no contact, no nothing. tell her what you’re doing and why, but don’t make it apologetic or a debate. but having zero contact will make your recovery much, much faster.
good luck to you.
23 March 2009 3:00 PM | Anonymous Said:
and, as a PS to my comment at 2:58pm, I don’t think the “cutoff” practice is appropriate for all relationships. But this one seems to have become particularly toxic and perhaps exploitative, so that’s why it’s best just to end it completely and rebuild.
23 March 2009 3:04 PM | Emmaleigh504 Said:
I agree with Been There “there are people out there who won’t ever want/need to find a way to cheat on you.
Rant: my last reply got lost (and will prolly show up later so I’ll have a stupid double post)
Rave: Spring flowers in DC are Beautiful!
23 March 2009 3:30 PM | Thorough Said:
Rant: I got drunk Saturday night and made an a$$ out of myself
Rave: The guy I was with overlooked my drunkness and still likes me =0)
23 March 2009 4:15 PM | Flipflopirate Said:
@InDistress – I feel for you, like so many others I’ve been there; In addition, I also happen to agree with all the others. It sounds like you graciously took her feelings and your future as a couple into consideration when she asked for a break; plain and simple, she wasn’t willing to do the same. She had a romantic rendezvous on ‘break’ …understandable, perhaps even acceptable, but within 3 weeks of functionally ending a long term committed relationship with her potential life partner? If you were mature enough to come to terms with her indiscretion you have every right to ask that she put it behind her as and individual before y’all put it behind as a couple, and that isn’t happening, is it?
Man Up! Rip off your band-aids and burn your bridge… if it’s something worth reconstructing let her be the one to put it back together with the charred matchsticks and discarded bandages.
23 March 2009 4:48 PM | Anon Said:
Not to diminish your pain, distress, and I think you’ve gotten some really good advice here, but does anyone else now have that line from Friends “We were on a break!” running through their head?
23 March 2009 4:50 PM | InDistress Said:
Thank you, everybody, for the input. I was finding that talking to friends/family just wasn’t helping. Out of all of the outlets in my life, it’s really weird to solicit and receive the best advice from blog commenters I don’t know, but what I’m hearing here confirms what I didn’t want to admit to myself. As much as I am dreading saying goodbye, it needs to happen.
I’ll post an update on this thread next week (maybe the week after). Thanks again.
23 March 2009 5:16 PM | Anon Said:
“Man Up! Rip off your band-aids and burn your bridge… if it’s something worth reconstructing let her be the one to put it back together with the charred matchsticks and discarded bandages.”
This is the best advice, IMHO, urban poetry too…
23 March 2009 8:49 PM | Golden Silence Said:
Rave: After a month of unemployment, my temp agency finally found a job for me and I was scheduled to start today.
Rant: I get all the way out to where the job was, just for my temp agency to tell me that the place I was going to work at had a huge overhaul and that I would not be needed. I wasted round trip fare which I didn’t have, and am still unemployed. I am really starting to worry because I send resume after resume, yet no one’s replying. And when I contact them myself I get the runaround.
I am frustrating and getting nervous, because I don’t have much money for anything and I don’t think unemployment checks will cut it. I NEED TO WORK!!!
23 March 2009 8:50 PM | Golden Silence Said:
I am “frustrated” not “frustrating.” Damn, I wish there were a way to edit my posts.
24 March 2009 12:07 PM | Anonymous Said:
rant: i am sick to death of people with maryland plates driving like assholes up and down new hampshire ave. a toll tax for anyone entering DC from maryland!
rave: massive amounts of daffodils in my front yard.