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Good Deal or Not? Weekly Wed. House Porn XXX Edition

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This mansion is located at 2850 Woodland Drive, NW:


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The flier says:

“NEW PRICE! Elegance, privacy, an acre of land & 1920s craftsmanship combine to make this residence a sophisticated in-town estate. Features include very high ceilings, ornate plaster moldings, herringbone oak floors, stucco exterior, multiple fireplaces and terraces. The home offers large entertaining rooms, excellent bedroom space, staff quarters w/ sep kitchens, 7-zone HVAC, and a pool.”

More info found here and a virtual tour found here.

Ok, while previously I have shown some Cinemax style house porn this one is of the full XXX variety. You have to see the virtual tour. You can barely tell it is that opulent from the street. Of course, this is from the new (to me) neighborhood of Woodland-Normstone. If you’ve ever wondered how the top .00001% live – here it is. Unbelievable. And there’s been a serious price cut. It was originally on the market for $14,600,000 but has come down to the more reasonable $10,750,000…

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By: | 23 September 2009 1:00 PM | 51 Comments

  • Mal

    Wow. Pretty ridiculous house – like the structure/layout, but the furniture in there does not look comfortable at all! I think I have a different viewpoint of what looks “good” than all these rich rich people. Maybe that’s why I’m not rich.

  • Anonymous

    What a dump

  • The Centzon Totochtin

    Wow, I wonder what it is like to be a little kid in that house. Seems like there are a lot of “Don’t touch a single effing thing” rooms there. And it is pretty sweet that the “staff” gets their own kitchen! How large of a staff would a place like that have anyway?

  • EdTheRed

    Wow…I’m pretty sure that place features prominently in The Lost Symbol…

  • Violet

    The staff quarters look nicer than my house…

  • Anonymous

    I am just amazed that the property taxes alone ($75k) are more than I make in a year…

    Also, it’s amazing that a house like this is actually also walkable to the Metro and a bunch of stores and restaurants. A big part of me thinks there’s something wrong with that actually.

  • MK

    I love the bones but the decor makes me gag.

  • shy

    “Hillary, we can pretend you won.”
    TV in bedroom? Tacky.
    Drop ceiling in gym? Tacky.
    $73,000 property tax. Wow.

  • Anonymous

    Who (or what) owns this house anyway and who (or what) would buy it?

  • ET

    Definitely XXX house porn.

    The decor is not for me. Definitely decorated to be a show house and less of a live-in house. Also, there is a sameness to the decor no matter the room that is a bit off putting. However, buyers aren’t buying the decor. That old bathtub is a hoot and those entry way floors and stairwell are fab-u-lous.

    As for price – I have not clue in this price range. Has sizable grounds and 7 bedrooms but I have a hard time thinking any house is worth that price. But as I said I can’t my head around property pricing on the high-high end. But did you notice the original list price and the prior price:
    Original Price: $14,600,000
    Prior Price: $12,500,000

  • shy

    You’d have to be a health insurance industry exec to own a house like this.

  • Amelia of Gradually Greener

    This place needs a name, like how all the mansions in Jane Austen novels had fancy estate titles.

  • AA

    This is obviously an old person/couples house. No paint? Wall paper in the guest bath could have never been seen as stylish, at least since the dawn of wallpaper. Gorgeous structure though…

    But, SWEET JEEBUS, check out the neighbors property on the right and left (via birds eye view). They’d have to get a restraining order to keep me from constantly snooping on their property!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, as ridiculous as it sounds to say something like “good bones, but needs work” for a house like this, if I picture the house with some different furniture and the wallpaper taken out and the checkered tile taken out, I can see a really, really lovely mansion. I can’t tell if that pool is actually functional, though. It looks small, but it could just be the picture.

  • Anonymous

    This house is bananas, but the furniture makes me want to have a bonfire.

  • IHeartShaw

    Furniture & tile=ewww

    Amazing house but all I think about is how hard it must be to keep all those floors clean.

  • Anon

    Looks like Marie Antoinette voimited all over the inside if it.

  • Shawn

    Wow, the furniture doesn’t look comfy at all.

    That place looks like a castle that could stay in some rich family for generations .

  • JodiHeights

    i was going to say… anyone else have a problem with allll that checkered tiling?!
    a little can be fun and/or tasteful, but they’ve used it in a way that induces nausea, and just plain looks cheap.

  • Anonymous

    Great house in a great location, no doubt. I don’t love the decor, but I understand that “the finer things” often don’t match with my aesthetic, developed from “the affordable things.” And if you think $75k/yr for property taxes is a lot, imagine the cost for maintenance on this place. I’m guessing maid and groundskeeper alone easily dwarfs the property bill. (On the flipside, you probably could do a nice business renting the place out for weddings.)

    As for me, if I had $10.75M to spend, I’d settle for a $4M home and pocket the rest.

  • Anonymous

    Meh. Not my style. But at such a bargain price, maybe I’ll buy it and turn it into condos.

  • Herb

    Neighborhood looks sketchy to me.

  • Anonymous

    ah, but i think this is for someone who had $26 million to spend, but settles for a $10.75M home, and pockets the rest…

  • GforGood

    Does it come with powdered wigs and whale bone corsets for the ladies (and kinky boys)?

  • Joe

    It should have been extreme opulence edition.

  • I think I could fit most of my Ikea furniture in there…

  • christopher

    wow, stunning house. i could definitely work with most of that furniture, especially the commodes/dressers/chest of drawers, but all of those white walls drive me crazy!

  • grumpy

    I don’t see what person would buy this place — the only thing I can see it as is an ambassador’s residence.

  • PoBoY

    The age of greed is not over in the nation’s cap. Greed is good:)

  • Eric in Ledroit

    I love that real estate records are public

    http://www.grosvenorfund.com/people.html

    the founder of this VC firm owns it.

  • caphillchick

    wonder why all the walls are white? kinda scary

  • WDC

    Ok, all you haters are ridiculous. This place is grade AAA, perfect in every detail. Do you have ANY idea how much time and effort (we won’t even mention money) it takes to furnish a place in that style, with that level of detail? I’ve been involved in a few high-end decor overhauls of luxury properties, and I can tell you it’s YEARS. Heck, getting that La Cornue stove imported probably took six months. And they may have had to fly an official La Cornue installer in. It may not be to your taste, but you have to admire the effort!

    Those floors, those moldings, the french doors throughout… I can hardly imagine anything pornier.

  • Anonymous

    Another realtor with a multimillion dollar listing that doesn’t know how to make .jpgs a reasonable size. For shame.

  • Cheap cabinets in the staff kitchen! I’m going to pass.

  • Anonymous

    You couldn’t rent this place at a profit to what the mortgage costs, so OVERPRICED. I only buy multimillion dollar mansions where I immediately turn a profit on the investment and/or am able to rent out the multimillion dollar mansion at a profit. Please buy my infomercial book where I tell you my one secret in real estate: Buy for less than fair market value, and profit!! $$$$$

  • Emmaleigh504

    I like most of the furniture, but not those ugly chairs in the kitchen. I don’t see this furniture as show-house furniture or don’t-let-the-kids-in furniture. Antiques are regular furniture, just older.

    I would update the window dressings and add some color to the walls. Nothing I hate more than plan white walls.

  • Anonymous

    @WDC: The Hall of Mirrors in the Palace of Versailles, or the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, are both extensive, priceless, and one of a kind, but that doesn’t mean that anyone should have them in their house nowadays. For other examples, see Donald Trump.

  • Marcus Aurelius

    I can’t believe they are asking $10,750,000 for that dump. I wouldn’t go a penny over $10M. And they’d have to pay my closing costs.

    Lots of eat the rich sentiment out there. I must say that I truly hate that style of furnishing. I am a mid-century modern kind of guy. But there is no doubt that it is an AMAZING place. That marble tub in the bathroom alone is worth the price of admission. I’d love to get the opportunity to do it up in a more contemporary style with some color and art on the walls.

  • Anonymous

    Look how tiny that TV is in the bedroom! hahahahaha, losers. I’ve got a bigger TV in my house. I guess the grass isn’t always greener, is it?

  • Nichole

    I love this house – all of it. I could day dream all day about the parties and fundraisers I’d throw, and none of my friends would ever need to search for a wedding venue ever again.

    If I’m going to find something to complain about it would be that I would like the pool to be a bit bigger, and have a patio surrounding it b/c I can’t stand wet grass on my feet. Also, a tennis court would be nice.

  • WDC

    Anonymous 3:50 (nice handle!) – Huh? I don’t see any national treasures or priceless works of art in these photos. In fact, I’m pretty sure that everything in there has a price– a high one. My point was that to collect THIS much of THIS style, which I assure you is in very high demand, is an impressive feat. The decorator did an amazing job. I didn’t see a single end table, light fixture, or rug that could be considered out of place here. Really impressive.

    Nichole, if you buy this place and if I can live in the pink bedroom with the private terrace, I’ll install a patio around that pool for you! ;)

  • Andy (2)

    What is amazing is that neighborhood is full of houses like that. I run through there when I want a good hill work out. Its absolutely amazing. The guest/kid bathrooms need some work but if you can afford this flipping a bathroom every year or so is no big woop.
    I really want to see the garage – if the Maybach can’t fit next to the Aston Martin and Jeep Wagoner then I’ll have to pass.
    Fundraisers? How about a wicked “Clue” party?

  • What, no bodega close by? How is New Money going to stock up on Boones Farm?

  • Nichole

    @WDC, we have a deal!

    @Andy(2) A Clue party sounds fantastic. I’m also thinking a masquerade party. I hate costumes, but I’d wear a sweet Marie Antoinette get-up to host!

  • Anonymous

    The person who decorated the house should be tarred and feathered. Once you get pasted all the flowers, ugly furniture, crazy stencils the house is pretty nice. No way $10M.

  • Anonymous

    I am appalled by the remarks on the decor.
    It seems you people only like what you know.
    What you don’t know is that this is the way a house like this is supposed to look if you are of a certain class and from a certain time. Time is the issue here. I am much older than the average brat commenting on this site and have been exposed to interiors like this from time to time in New York, where I am from. However, not so much in the last 50 years.
    I used to think that black and white checkered floors were to die for.
    Don’t you know, everything old is new again?

  • Petworthian

    Beautiful house. So you don’t like the furnishings, don’t buy them.
    My only complaint is the pool area. It may be the photos, but the pool looks pretty small. Also, why no decking/patio around the pool? Obviously these people are not big into throwing pool parties in the summer.

  • Anonymous

    Reading these comments has been entertaining, given that this is my boss’ house.

  • Anonymous

    To live in this house I would have Satan as my roomate !

  • UStreet

    Turn it into a museum, like Hillwood.



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